Melissa is Alan's former receptionist and girlfriend. She is sweet, good-natured and one of the few people who appreciates Alan.
She served as his receptionist for most of season 6 and is shown to have a perky demeanor. Before she dated Alan, she had dated Charlie in "The Flavin' And The Mavin'", which ended disastrously with her driving angrily and fast in a heavy rainstorm on the way to Alan's office and Alan being forced to give her a raise and health insurance.
After recovering from her breakdown, Melissa starts to fall for Alan and organises his birthday party "David Copperfield Slipped Me A Roofie". She also introduces him to her mother Shelly. After Alan's family and Berta ridicule him during the party, she berates them and lets him stay at her house. She kicks him out after catching Shelly and a drugged Alan in bed together.
Alan tries to apologize to her on the phone in "Sir Lancelot's Litter Box", but she angrily berates him and decides to hang up.
Since then, Melissa has been working in the hospital where Judith gave birth in "Baseball Was Better With Steroids" to try and forget about him. However, her feelings for Alan return while Judith is giving birth, and they end up making out in the storage closet. In the season 7 premiere "818-jklpuzo", Melissa appears to have moved into the Harper beach house; when Charlie reminds Alan, he is quick to deny it.
In "Whipped Unto The Third Generation", after being forced by Chelsea, Charlie lets Melissa stay. When Alan and Melissa take advantage of Charlie's generosity, Charlie stays the night at a hotel. Alan is quick to join him when Chelsea and Melissa do not obey his commands. Alan and Charlie turn to Evelyn, who reveals that Melissa and Charlie slept together, making Chelsea and Melissa end their friendship, and Melissa moves out, promising never to return to Charlie's house again.
In "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator", Melissa is tired of Alan's cheapness and the fact that he doesn't have his own place. Alan then decides to take a job as Evelyn's assistant to earn some extra money. When showing a partically nice house, Evelyn informes Alan that the couple that own the place have houses all over the country and probably don't even remember that this one is here. Alan uses this to his favor by inviting Melissa over to the house that night and lies by telling her that he has rented it. As to not leave any trace, Alan (although he doesn't tell her) suggests that they have sex on a beach towel on the living room floor. After, they accidentally spill wine on the carpet and Alan starts a fight since they weren't supposed to be there. They make up, however but are then forced to flee in their underwear by Alan when Evelyn arrives with potential buyers. When they are caught by the cops outside, Melissa quickly runs away, leaving Alan to deal with the cops. It is implied that due to this incident Melissa and Alan are broken up (or as Alan puts it, "You could say I dumped Melissa and decided she never wants to see me again for as long as she lives"). Alan has since gone on other dates, including one with a grossly overweight woman to an L.A. Dodgers game and another that ended with him boring his date and then punching out the rude jerk who was successfully getting her to end the date and go off with him.
She came back in Season 8 and met Alan at a liquor store in "A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer". He lied that he was still single like her despite having moved in with Lyndsey McElroy who he was in a relationship with. The two immediately started kissing and had sex at Charlie's house. He however never informed her about Lyndsey.
He continued seeing her behind Lyndsey's back for a while and she states that she wants to move in with him into Charlie's house in "A Pudding-Filled Cactus". Charlie convinced Alan to dump her which he did via a text message, causing her to become angry. She went over to Charlie's house and kicked him in the balls when he refused to tell where Alan was. He later does tell her that he's at Lyndsey's house when she says she'll punish Alan even worse. It's unknown what happened to her after that.
- "The Flavin' and the Mavin'"
- "He Smelled The Ham, He Got Excited"
- "Thank God for Scoliosis"
- "David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie"
- "Baseball Was Better With Steroids"
- "Whipped Unto The Third Generation"
- "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator"
- "A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer"
- "A Pudding-Filled Cactus"