Why are you, sorry?
Dolores to Charlie
Miss Pasternak
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Birth Date
Portrayed by
Missi Pyle(Season 2,7,9)
Alicia Witt (Season 6)
First seen
Appeared in
First mentioned
Episode count
Dolores Pasternak
Also known as
Desiree Bush
Manner of death
Family members
S2 - S6 - S7 - S9 - S12

Dolores Pasternak, played by Missi Pyle and Alicia Witt, is Jake's 5th grade school teacher who also dated Charlie.


Miss. Dolores Pasternak was a teacher that suspended Jake for giving her the finger. Charlie began dating her, and she not only lifted the suspension but began giving Jake good grades without properly earning them. Charlie ended up dumping her upon the realization she was mentally ill.

She was not seen until season six, which in the mean time she lost her job and teaching license, had to move into a motel, and her parents disowned her. She was forced to take a job as a stripper, in order to make ends meets. Charlie, Alan, and Jake run into Dolores at a store where Charlie learns everything and feels guilty. Charlie and Alan went to the strip club she worked at and convinced her to live with them until she finds a home, and gave her a job tutoring Jake. Though at first it was working out well, she believed Charlie was an angel sent by god to save her. She becomes a fundamentalist Christian and forces the Harpers and Berta to go to church with her. There she revealed to Charlie they should get married. Charlie dumped her again, causing her to revert, and according to Alan, "stole all the dollars out of the collection plate and started grinding on the minister." When Charlie took marijuana he envisioned several ex-girlfriends, among them Miss Pasternak.


Alicia Witt as Miss Pasternak giving Alan a lap dance

In the Season 9 premiere, Miss Pasternak was present at Charlie's funeral.


  • She is played by Missi Pyle on every appearance except "A Jock Strap In Hell" where she is played by Alicia Witt.
  • She is named ostensibly after Russian writer B.Pasternak and Dolores, "Lolita", the main character of the novel named this way from also Russian writer V.Nabokov.
  • Her professional dancer/stripper name is "Desiree Bush".
  • At Charlie's funeral, she revealed that Charlie used her panties to make tea.
  • In A Bag Full of Jawea she "corrected" Alan's grammar, but she was actually incorrect.
    • She "corrected" "You're better at it than me" implying that it should be "You're better at it than I" but Alan was correct because "I" is used as the subject and "me" is used as the object. In this sentence "me" is used as the object making Alan correct.
    • Nope; the correction is correct. The true object of the preposition "than" is the phrase "I am"...but we leave off the "am" when we speak and often when we write. The "I" is the subject of the phrase "I am" and is appropriately in the nominative case. The whole sentence would read "You're better at it than I am" so the comparison is "you are" with "I am" and this is what grammarians call a "parallel" construction...putting 2 equivalent constructions on opposite sides of a comparison (or a conjunction). Miss Pasternak got this one right. (We accept that language is a living, changing thing, so we have to learn to accept the ways in which the common usage differs from the grammatical rules, so we are more comfortable with the "than me" than with the "than I" and at some point, this will probably become the grammatical standard. But, at this point, it is not.)


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