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Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie is the 7th episode of Season 11. It aired on November 14, 2013.

Summary[]

Walden and Alan find themselves on dates with two ideal women until Lyndsey's jealousy throws a wrench in their evening.

Plot[]

Walden, Jenny and Alan are at Pavlov's and are ogling a hot bartender, until Jenny reveals that she already slept with her. Alan begins to ask Jenny about how she first realised that she was gay. Jenny begins to recount her first lesbian experience.

She vividly describes her encounter, leaving Alan and Walden salivating, until she reveals that it was just a story. Jenny tells them it's not rocket science; the first thing she masturbated to was a woman, so that when she knew. Alan and Walden then begin to argue about who should ask a hot girl out. When they finally decide, they find the girl, actually a lesbian, already leaving with Jenny.

Two cute girls Laurie and Jill enter the bar and sit beside the duo. Laurie is dumb/embarrassing (ala Alan) and Jill is the intellectual one. Walden and Jill end up apologising for their respective friends and hit it off and score dates. The next day Lyndsey arrives, just before they're leaving for their dates, putting Alan in an awkward situation when he doesn't know how to tell Lyndsey he has a date. Lyndsey is originally fine with it, but later drunkenly calls him on the phone just as Alan is about to have sex with Laurie when the girls come over for dinner that night.

He interrupts Walden's attempts to sleep with Jill and reasons that it is only fair he has sex with Laurie since Lyndsey has a boyfriend and is using him in the same way. Just as Alan goes back downstairs, Lyndsey shows up at the door and suggests they have sex.

Laurie emerges from Alan's room and the girls trade insults before Lyndsey throws up on Walden's rug. Alan goes to Lyndsey's house to apologize, but also to clarify that he is done being used by her while she is with Larry, and says goodbye to Lyndsey before Lyndsey decides that she wants Alan, and is going to break up with Larry.

They get back together, but while in bed, decide that Larry is missing from the relationship and opt to give it another shot. Walden goes to Jill's apartment to get back together, but Jill is already being entertained by Jeff Probst, who had earlier been cooking on the beach, and Walden is once more left alone as they close the door on him.

Cast[]

Title quotation from[]

Walden, to Jenny, referring to her sex life and apparent ability to turn straight women into lesbians.

Guest Starring[]

  • Kim Shaw as Maria
  • Jeff Probst as Himself

Quotes[]

  • Walden: She’s cute.
    Alan: She is.
    Jenny: She’s sucks in bed. And not in a good way.
    Walden: I didn’t know she was gay.
    Jenny: Neither did she till last Thursday.
    Walden: You’re like some kind of lesbian zombie, infecting the women of Malibu.
    Jenny: (doing a zombie impression) Must have vagina!
    Walden: (mimicking her) "Must have vagina!" Sounds like some pathetic Lonley Hearts ad Alan would put in the paper.
    Alan: He's not wrong.
  • Walden: Do you think all women are potential lesbians?
    Alan: I have 30 years of masturbating to prom that say yes!
  • Alan: That’s not the girl you picked up from the bar last night.
    Jenny: No, that’s the girl who delivered the pizza to me and the girl I picked up at the bar last night.
    Walden: I hope you gave her a good tip.
    Jenny: Nah, she didn’t come in 30 minutes or less.
  • Walden: (Advising Alan) Do what every little boy in America wants to do—bang the little mermaid.

Trivia[]

  • This is the first episode to feature Amber Tamblyn as a series regular.
  • Evelyn and Judith do not appear in this episode.
  • Jeff Probst has a better body than Taylor Lautner aka Jacob black in twilight.
Two and a Half Men Episodes
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