Tinkle Like a Princess is the 16th episode of Season 7. It aired on March 1, 2010.
After Chelsea breaks up with him, a depressed Charlie takes a trip to Las Vegas and returns home with a new wife. Charlie then finds out that his new "wife" is already married, and her husband says that her getting married is a regular occurrence, which he tolerates because she's a lot hotter than he is. Charlie then spends some time with Chelsea's father, Tom, and his new boyfriend, Ed. John Amos guest stars as Chelsea's father's boyfriend.
At first, Charlie and Chelsea seem to be handling their parting in a mature and restrained manner. No tears or groveling. But then Charlie sinks into a great depression, staying in his bedroom for days (and avoiding the bathroom because it reminds him of Chelsea and how she would tinkle like a princess in there), breaking down when talking to Judith about the split, and finally heading to church. It's there that Charlie asks God to help him through in any way He can. Enter Betsy.
Betsy appears to be everything Chelsea isn't. She's not controlling or serious. She doesn't seem to have a care in the world or a brain in her head for that matter. And she's also Charlie's new wife, having married her on a 3-day drunken binge in Vegas. Charlie swears that they are soul mates and that fate brought them together. Truth be told, it was more likely alcohol and horniness. Alan tries to talk some sense into Charlie, but it only clicks with him when he hears Betsy explain to Jake the similarities between women and antique cars.
Instead of hanging around for more analogies, Charlie heads to find Chelsea at her dad's house, where he walks in on the dad and his boyfriend in the middle of a little spat over decorating. Although obviously uncomfortable, he waits it out until Chelsea comes home. When she arrives, Charlie tells her how much he misses her and basically begs her to take him back, vowing that he can change. For her part, Chelsea realizes that she shouldn't have tried to change him and wants to take some time to figure out what she wants. They say an awkward goodbye, with Charlie reassuring Chelsea that if she ever did something crazy, like get married on a whim, that he would forgive her.
When Charlie gets home, there's a surprise waiting for him — Betsy's husband. It turns out that Betsy makes a habit of taking off her wedding ring and going on little adventures. The only reason her husband puts up with it is because, well, she's hot. Of course, that also means that Betsy and Charlie were never really married.
Katy Mixon guest stars as Charlie's temporary Vegas wife Betsy.
Mixon appears in the episode "Untainted by Filth" as a character also named Betsy, though they and the Harpers don't show any familiarity towards each other to Mixon's character in this episode. This maybe because they didn't remember most of their drunken escapade in the end of the other episode including who she was.
Title quotation from
Charlie, explaining to Alan that he can't go into his bathroom as it reminds him of Chelsea.